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Gold Mountain Dreaming

Looking for a new father figure.

Posted by Huang Ling - 116 years ago

As it says in the title, I’m looking for someone to be my son’s paper father. My husband and I are hoping to one day go to the United States, but we currently don’t fall under any of the exempt categories that would allow us to gain admission under the restrictive immigration policies. Instead, we’re hoping to purchase citizenship for our son so that he may go in our stead. My son is well educated and has a good memory. He can help run a business when he lands if needed.

 

We’re willing to negotiate a price for someone’s citizenship slot. Let me know!

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7 Comments

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Zheng Xing - 116 years ago

You’ve asked at just the right time. An earthquake just destroyed San Francisco’s Hall of Records, which means that there can be more flexibility in your son’s answers to the immigration officials. They no longer have any official written papers to contradict him.

Jin Heng - 116 years ago

I second what C1 said, but I’d still be careful about doing your due diligence because there’s going to be a lot more Taishanese now coming from abroad claiming to have citizenship. US Immigration Officials aren’t known to be the most patient of people around here.

Wen Fa  - 115 years ago

Yes, US Immigration Official, I am the son of my father, who has since died in China, but he came over here with my mother once, which was where I was born. My mother wanted to go back to China, so I lived there for most of my life. Now, I want to go back and help my remaining uncle on my father’s side run his business because he is getting older and needs help from a younger person. Oh yeah, I want to tell you that there were also three other Chinese men who were present at my birth and are still living in San Francisco at this hyper-specific location. You can ask them to verify my identity despite them only having only been present when I was born.

Yin Duyi - 115 years ago

Now that would make a good copypasta.

Bai Qi - 115 years ago

Looks like someone’s been reading too many coaching papers lol… Can you help me with mine? I’m afraid I’m going to mess up my story, and they’ll send me back to China ahaha.

Wan Liwei - 116 years ago

Love me some good old paper sons. I think at this point I’m supposed to have three blood-related brothers despite being an only child. It’s okay though, I’m sure what they have on paper makes us seem like we had a wonderful childhood, and as long as I remember those details, I won’t screw up someone else’s immigration process. That would be quite unfortunate.

Shi Huiqing - 115 years ago

Looks like no one actually answered your question, but I know a merchant broker who can hook your son up with a slot. PM me for more details.

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